If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
