last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
