I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
