super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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