It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
