If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize