is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
