What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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