I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
