You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize