I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
