TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
