Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
