wat bout pragnant strippers??
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
