This girl is more easily done than said...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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