At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
