i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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