Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
