I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
