Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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