Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
