Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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