We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
