names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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