I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
