2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
