The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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