where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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