He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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