Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
