you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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