I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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