and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
