so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
