There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize