Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
