Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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