The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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