I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
