..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
