saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize