I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
its not stalking. its research.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
