Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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