what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
