I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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