she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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