You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
