Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She bit a glass in half.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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