I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
