just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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