don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
