I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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