Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just want to make out with him forever
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
