does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize