i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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