Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
