fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize