I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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