Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
