There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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