Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
