apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
